Dear Adoption, We Rise
The ways in which the adoptee community has risen in 2017 are astonishing. We’ve seen films, read books, perused articles and social media posts; we’ve been struck by memes, conferences, and have witnessed a continuity of adopted people finding their individual voices. We’ve seen adoptees encourage one another and build a tightly knit, thriving, hope filled community.
We’ve done all this while receiving the same push back we have for decades, but what has inspired me the most is how strong we’ve stood despite the resistance.
Each story shared at Dear Adoption, is the personal lived experience of each individual adoptee. If you haven’t shared your story and exposed yourself in this way, you cannot imagine the deep level of vulnerability connected to finally revealing hidden stories and feelings from within. That any non-adopted person still finds it acceptable to question the lived experience of any adoptee is shocking and, frankly, cruel. And yet, many continue to do so. And yet, we continue to rise. We continue elevating adoptee voices in order to reshape the narrow minded view society has held regarding adoption since it’s inception.
Many adoptees have negative feelings surrounding adoption.
Many adoptees have positive feelings surrounding adoption.
Many adoptees, have both negative and positive feelings and spend their days ping ponging back and forth from the good and the bad; from the gains and the losses.
At Dear Adoption, what matters is that adoptees are speaking on their own behalf. Adoptees have proven a level of resilience, determination, and fortitude I, personally, find awe-inspiring.
At Dear Adoption, we aren’t asking anyone to agree with our individual stances on adoption. The heart of Dear Adoption, is that all adoptees are heard. One of our writers frequently says, “Just Listen”. Listening seems so simple, but it’s quite complex, because to truly listen you must lay down your own experience and receive the experience being shared before you. Listening can also be quite easy if you’re willing to pause and recognize each person is the expert on their own lived experience. When adoptees speak their experiences and the opinions they’ve formed based on those experiences, we need to hear them.
The Adoptee Movement we’ve launched and built together at Dear Adoption, is wild and powerful and wondrous. Our rise is irrepressible, uncontainable.
We’re fiercely determined to speak and give greater depths of insight into the lives of the adopted. The Adoptee Movement is life changing, life saving, and flourishing far beyond our humble hopes.
We rise though we’re weary. We rise though we’re often unheard. We rise amidst tumultuousness, isolation, and fear.
We rise because we won’t be buried.
dearadoption.com 
Reblogged this on Gazelle's Scirocco Winds and commented:
Adoptees have varying opinions on being adopted, and we all don’t necessarily agree… but what we do i9s tell our stories in our own words and in ,our own way…. and even compare our situations to others… Do take time toread this from Reshma McClintock who made a space for adoptees to find their voices. And if you are not adopted, remember, we all have ad our identities stolen and are separated from our kith and kin… You ever had to look for your mother or sibs or family… We have … So please do not tell us our stories because only we can do that. And if you will, please try to understand, then insist society change the system so that we can know who we really are… thank you for reading.
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Thank you for helping us find our voice even late in life.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! Yes, we rise! I am filled with goose bumps, gratitude and above all, hope! All my best, Patty McClarren
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Love this! What a great topic! 🙂
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How can anyone with a clear sense of dignity have positive feelings surrounding such an institution? Thar puzzles me exceedingly. Adoption essentially is an ownership transaction, i.e. property law applied to human beings. Just like in slavery. An adoptee has as much a say in their adoption as a car sold from one owner to the other. Our true origin is eradicated and we are being gaslighted with falsified birth certificates. Our entire existence is based on a lie.
There are many other ways of ensuring that every child has a home that respect the dignity of the child: Family preservation, for example, as most first mothers – not to mention first fathers – lose their children to adoption due to poverty, isolation, and/or lack of social support. And if the parents are truly incapable of taking care of their children, as most adoptees aren’t orphans, there are plenty of far more humane alternatives from kinship care to guardianship.
In other words, there is no need for eradicating a child’s family history, blood ties, cultural heritage and medical history. It could be argued that doing so is an act of political violence. Further, the damage done is a trans-generational. You can only embrace such an institution if you’ve lost your sense of right and wrong. And that might feel natural and “positive” as we live in a society that has lost its way and worships the money that drives adoption. Because, let’s face it, adoption is the (often coerced) transfer of children from poor people to affluent people. And falsified birth certificates make the child more attractive to the customers of adoption agencies, that is, the (often childless) adoptive parents. In that way, they can pretend the child is their own, and things have come full circle, as adoption basically is an ownership adoption.
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I really love the way so many voices are brought together here. You are doing great things. As an AP, I am listening
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Thank you for fighting for the voices of us adoptees. When you speak for the many voices that are not heard or accepted. This struggle has always been silent and taboo. Now we have to protect not only each other but support give strength to the adoptees to keep expressing their true feelings and struggles. We’ve always been told, be greatful, can’t you move on, be positive instead of feeling sorry for yourself. NO! I’m sorry, but we need to be heard.
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