Dear Adoption, This is My Bloodline

I am her shock and humiliation, her worry and pain, her fear and shame.

I am indiscretion, unwanted, unwelcome.

I am relinquished, dismissed, denied.

I am her secret.

I am her daughter.

She is my fantasy and wonder, my mystery and regret, my hope and loss.

She is evasive, rejecting, controlling.

She is angry, spiteful, untruthful.

She is my hurt.

She is my mother.

I am her womb and nourishment, her cheerleader and confidante, her compass and model.

I am security, stability, kindness.

I am constant, steady, true.

I am her love.

I am her mother.

She is my miracle and joy, my worry and duty, my gift and treasure.

She is responsible, intelligent, caring.

She is loving, giving, honest.

She is my hope.

She is my daughter.

I am relinquished and adopted, cherished and admired, smart and successful.

I am puzzled, broken, healed.

I am daughter, wife, mom.

I am human.

I am me.

Julie Ryan McGue is an adult, domestic adoptee from the Baby Scoop Era. She is an identical twin, raised with her sister. She is currently writing a memoir about her search for birth relatives. Connect with Julie on Facebook.