Dear Adoption, In a World of Labels & Standards You Left Me Not Being Enough
You left me with a story unknown.
You left me with a constant perpetual desire to be someone I no longer can be.
You left me with a longing in my heart nothing can fulfill.
You left me with a community I can’t relate with.
You left me with a roller coaster of feelings.
Not Chinese Enough
Not Asian Enough
Not Deaf Enough
Not Hearing Enough
Not Immigrant Enough
Not Adoptee Enough
Always found between two points.
All because my experiences are not the same as others.
I share as if a wooden fence was between us. I share just enough for you to see parts of me but not me completely. Fear yet aching, to be understood, to have my feelings matter, to be heard…to be loved for who I am.
Yet I am loving life: the opportunities
the people I have encountered
relationships which have formed
my unique experience
All which have allowed me to have a unique perspective in life and understanding of people.
You bring the worst in me and the best in me.
You gave me a heart to reject the world. You gave me a heart to change the world.
Thank you for sharing! I, too, feel the weight of so much contrast built in by this odd experience that is relinquishment and adoption! Best wishes for peace and serenity in your life!