Dear Adoption, Three Days
Three days. Three days is time frame for the birth mother to change her mind. Mine had no intentions of keeping me or my other siblings. Off to foster care I went where I would live for the first 3 months until my adoptive family picked me up. I don’t like being adopted. There’s a void and hurt that never really go away. Being denied at birth is painful, being rejected twice is the most painful. How can you not want to get to know me? You really would like me.
I found her after 2 weeks of hiring a private investigator. She sent photos, emails, and a few letters. She wouldn’t tell me of any medical history, my birth fathers name, not even a first name, or that I even had 2 half brothers that she gave up after me.
She strung me along for over 20 years. She’d pretend we would meet someday and have some sort of relationship. That never happened. One day, she finally told me everything I “wanted” to know. I cut ties with her and I felt free. I searched for my half brothers and found them both. Plus a couple other half siblings on my birth fathers side. See, my birthmom was having an affair with a married man with a baby girl, got pregnant at 19 with me. She said she never wanted kids, she doesn’t like them.
My wife and I unknowingly had our wedding day on my birth mom’s birthday. We also met on one of my birth half brothers birthday.
My adoptive parents lost their baby so they adopted my brother and I from different birth families. They told us we were adopted when we were young. Never to be mentioned again. Like everything else with them, swept under the rug like a dirty little secret. She always told us we were “special.” So as a child, I always thought something was wrong with me.
My birth father passed away when I was 17 years old. The same year my adoptive dad passed away.
Living with a narcissistic adoptive mother was no walk in the park. Always being ignored, disrespected and mostly dismissed. And my adopted brother and I never got along.
I’ll always have issues with being adopted. They never go away…