gallery Dear Adoption, Please Tell Her (7 Year Old Me) Part 1


Dear Adoption, Please Tell Her (7 Year Old Me) Part 1

Tell her you’re sorry you were wrong about her first adoptive home.
Tell her you’re sorry you were wrong about homes 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.
Tell her you’re sorry she’s worried all day and terrified all night.
Tell her when she hides in the dark and cries you see her.
Tell her she isn’t as unwanted as she feels.
Tell her you shouldn’t have made promises you couldn’t keep.
Tell her you can see her longing for her mother; for the warmth she was denied.
Tell her she won’t always feel lost. Or scared. Or alone. Or afraid of touch.
Tell her it’s okay to tell some secrets.
Tell her the abuses will stop, the wounds will heal and her body will soon be safe.
Tell her she is not ruined.
Tell her she is pure.
Tell her she is valuable.
Tell her you know she deserved better.
Tell her she deserves to have someone brush her hair.
Tell her someone will love her and see her worth and maybe they will even brush her hair.
Tell her she’ll be a good mother and she’ll do the things for her daughters that no one did for her.
Tell her you’re sorry for the way outsiders treat her and question her and don’t listen to her.
Tell her you’re listening.
Tell her she is heard.
Tell her you’re soaked in her tears.
Tell her you feel her pain.
Tell her you’re sorry.
Tell her she won’t be afraid forever.

Baby X > Born > Relinquished > Adopted > Removed by CPS > Fostered 6 Times > Aged Out > Educated > Employed > Loved > Married to a man who brushes her hair > Mothering 2 daughters who are protected, cared for, not abandoned, loved & always have brushed hair.



  1. This is beautiful and heartbreaking. As a pre-adoptive mom to a tween girl who has been through what sounds like a very similar situation to yours, and whose hair was called a “rat’s nest” when she was placed with her most recent foster family before ours, I am grateful for your openness about your experiences so I can help my daughter heal through hers. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully written! Thank you for your willingness to share your 7 year old thoughts. I believe it is key for people to hear/read our adoptee voices as we learn to vocalize our “little selves” thoughts, experiences and how they have shaped us into who we are as adults.

    Liked by 1 person

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