Dear Adoption, No-Yes

You took away everything.

You gave me so much.

You left me.

You returned for me.

You expect too much from me.

You give me grace.

You isolated me.

You gave me people.

I’m confused.

I’m clear.

I’m sad.

I’m happy.

I don’t have my original birth certificate.

I do have a birth certificate so I guess I was born.

I don’t want to speak your name.

I want the world to hear me talk about you.

I want to hide away.

I want to be famous.

I’m lost.

I’m found.

I want to find them.

I don’t want to find them.

I’m in pain.

I’m in joy.

I want to die.

I want to live.

I’m so ashamed.

I’m so proud.

I’m angry.

I’m not always angry.

I don’t want to have to be perfect all the time.

I want everyone to see me, like me, and think I am the best.

I’m always wandering.

I have a set course.

I want to save all the children around the world.

I want to let them be.

I hate you.

I love you.

No.

Yes.

I don’t really know.

This piece was submitted anonymously by a domestic adoptee who resides in Chicago, IL. She is currently working on resources for adoptive parents to better understand how to parent their adopted children. She has chosen to remain anonymous due to her other projects and the deep, personal nature of this piece.