Dear Adoption, You Have Put Me Through Every Labeled Emotion Possible

I used to hold you near like a prized trophy that showed my strength, endurance and resiliency but now I see you as just a blip on a larger picture. There is more to me that is beyond my adoption, beyond my race, beyond my adoption story. I ponder how my life would be had you not happened. Who would I have been? Who would I know? What would my views on life be? Through twenty-four years, after reuniting with my past identity, family, and national origin I finally found me. The me that really doesn’t relate to a biological family who judges me for being me, the me who gets to have opinions and freedom of my own.  I no longer yearn for that connection to who I started out as but yearn for a deeper connection to who I am today. Don’t judge me because I don’t buy into your labels anymore. I don’t judge you for putting me through hell, for gifting me. I choose to know this is a rich life that sprang from you, adoption. Without you there would be no me and without me there would be no you. Don’t get me wrong, I am not living happily ever after in utopia, but I do know where you belong in my life; to empower rather than burden. I will always cherish all we have been through together and have gratitude for experiencing such an amazing life with you. Thanks for finally letting me take my life back and for showing me that I may live with you, but not through you.

Pushpa Devi is an international adoptee from India. She was adopted at 6 years old without the consent of her biological mother who she reunited with as an adult. She met her adoptive family when when they picked her up from the airport in Oregon where she would grow up. Pushpa is an avid runner and realtor in Florida. She has a BS degree in Human development and Family Sciences. Pushpa is married to her wonderful husband and has a beautiful 21 year old daughter. You can find her former blog at pushpaduncklee.wordpress.com.