gallery Dear Adoption, I Am Me

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Dear Adoption, I Am Me

My name was Baby Girl Lockridge

The meaning is:  Dweller of the Stronghold

Adoption tried to claim me

Relinquishing me forever to the unknown

Coloring my world dark with a primal wound

Society says, “you must feel grateful.

After all, weren’t you deemed unlovable/unwanted?”

So I wore the impossibly heavy cloak of denial of self

Exacerbated by my adoptive parents need to shred my spirit

In hopes of birthing their own creation

Me sitting at the family dark wood table

Dissociating/Fragmenting

But God gave me a tenacious spirit

One of resilience & perseverance

Enough to eventually find my ghost mother

And enough to prove I was born

Alas, no cosmic connection with my natural parents transpired

Soon a distraction was needed

Too much pain

Needed to numb the emotions

My addiction was practically my end

And then my end

Became my beautiful beginning

Slowly taking back my peace of mind

Slowly putting the pieces of my true self together

Little by little

Day by day

One step at a time

I now choose life

No longer allowing adoption, or anything else, define me 

Or to deny me

I Am Me

Linda Pevac was a product of the 60’s. A time before the Pill and Roe v. Wade which changed the landscape of unwanted pregnancies forever. Most all adoptions of that day were deemed Closed by law and thus basically served to wipe away the rights of the adoptee’s true beginnings.  Linda’s story is one of perseverance and the tenacity it took in order to reclaim what was rightfully hers.

2 comments

  1. Thank you for sharing your personal story.
    It seems so important that others hear from us what it really feels like to have been relinquished and adopted.
    Sincerely, Baby Julie.

    Aka, Kim P

    Liked by 1 person

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