gallery Dear Adoption, You Blessed Me, Left Me Wondering About the Missing Piece of Me, and Taught Me Some Hard Life Lessons


Dear Adoption, You Blessed Me, Left Me Wondering About the Missing Piece of Me, and Taught Me Some Hard Life Lessons

I have always known I was adopted and somewhere along the line I started telling people I was more special than they, as I was *chosen. I’m not sure if my [adopted] mom told me that or if it’s just something I started adding to my story.

My adopted parents picked me out when I was 6 weeks old; my elder (natural born child of my parents) brother was so excited to have a little sister he got to choose my name. I’ve always loved that! I have a younger adopted brother, as well. My parents divorced when I was around 2. Each remarried; my mom a couple times, her last husband being an abuser.

I never really “fit” in my family. For as long as I can remember I’ve told people my parents ordered a nice quiet square, but ended up with an octagon. Growing up I resembled my older brother, but that’s pretty much where things ended. I’ve always had a natural curiosity, wanted to learn, think outside the box; I’m not (too) afraid of change, outspoken, and a little louder than my parents would have liked.

All the differences left me wondering where I came from? Who I came from? What were they like? Being adopted left me with a longing to belong; to be loved by someone I was a part of, and to have a lineage – a history.

Several years ago, Oregon changed adoption law so adoptees could see their original birth certificates. With the help of a friend, I was blessed to find my birth-mom! It has been amazing to have her in my life. For the first time ever there is someone I actually look like! We share the same laugh – it’s been so rewarding to have a relationship with her and to hear the story of how I came to be.

Funny thing is, I still have the longing to belong, and some fears about abandonment… But all in all, I am who I am, and I’m thankful to be me, in part because of my two moms – one who was brave enough to give me up and one who was brave enough to raise me the best she could.

Becky is a domestic adoptee from Portland, Oregon. She is a child of God, a mom, a nana, and an RN.

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