Dear Adoption, You Blessed Me, Left Me Wondering About the Missing Piece of Me, and Taught Me Some Hard Life Lessons

I have always known I was adopted and somewhere along the line I started telling people I was more special than they, as I was *chosen. I’m not sure if my [adopted] mom told me that or if it’s just something I started adding to my story.

My adopted parents picked me out when I was 6 weeks old; my elder (natural born child of my parents) brother was so excited to have a little sister he got to choose my name. I’ve always loved that! I have a younger adopted brother, as well. My parents divorced when I was around 2. Each remarried; my mom a couple times, her last husband being an abuser.

I never really “fit” in my family. For as long as I can remember I’ve told people my parents ordered a nice quiet square, but ended up with an octagon. Growing up I resembled my older brother, but that’s pretty much where things ended. I’ve always had a natural curiosity, wanted to learn, think outside the box; I’m not (too) afraid of change, outspoken, and a little louder than my parents would have liked.

All the differences left me wondering where I came from? Who I came from? What were they like? Being adopted left me with a longing to belong; to be loved by someone I was a part of, and to have a lineage – a history.

Several years ago, Oregon changed adoption law so adoptees could see their original birth certificates. With the help of a friend, I was blessed to find my birth-mom! It has been amazing to have her in my life. For the first time ever there is someone I actually look like! We share the same laugh – it’s been so rewarding to have a relationship with her and to hear the story of how I came to be.

Funny thing is, I still have the longing to belong, and some fears about abandonment… But all in all, I am who I am, and I’m thankful to be me, in part because of my two moms – one who was brave enough to give me up and one who was brave enough to raise me the best she could.

Becky is a domestic adoptee from Portland, Oregon. She is a child of God, a mom, a nana, and an RN.