Dear Adoption, I Think You Let Me Live and I Know I’m Grateful

Actually, I think I know you let me live, but that’s the biggest problem with adoption; I can’t really know so many things.

I think my chances of survival were unlikely had I not been adopted. I don’t know that though.

I think I wouldn’t have had so many opportunities had I not been adopted. I don’t know that either.

Many adoptees don’t appreciate when I say I’m grateful to have been adopted but, the truth is, I am. It’s okay for me to be grateful and confused. That pretty much sums up my feelings toward you, adoption.

I grieve because of all the things I cannot know. I grieve for the many adoptees whose experiences haven’t been as good as mine.

Mine has been good.

I do wish those choosing to adopt would actually listen to adoptees. So much of the time, adoptive parents become defensive when adoptees share. I wish they would listen. I wish they would understand where we’re coming from because all adoptees, even their children, will encounter some of these tough things in their lifetime. We aren’t attacking their parenting. We want to shed some light.

I also wish more adoptees would be accepting of the peace some of us have. I believe all adoptees have unavoidable grief but we all deal with it in our own way. There’s nothing wrong with me for settling on peace. I want peace for us all.

-This piece was submitted anonymously by an East Indian adoptee