Dear Adoption, You Make My Heart Hurt and You Make My Heart Happy
Sometimes I feel happy that I’m adopted and sometimes I feel sad that I’m adopted. Here in America sometimes I feel that I don’t fit into my adoptive family. My parents are very helpful to me because they show love and help me to go through hard things. I feel happy when I’m with my American family but I also feel sad and guilty that I’m not with my birth family. I worry I won’t see them again and I worry that they’ll die. Sometimes I feel sad, angry and guilty that I can’t be with both families. Adoption is confusing to me because it’s very hard to take good care of both families and have them both feel happy.
-A.W., 9 years old, adopted from Ethiopia a few weeks shy of his 5th birthday
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I shared this with my 10 yr old son, also born in Ethiopia. It was like he had written it himself. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you, Melissa! I just passed your comment on to A.W.
Dear A.W. You do such a good job describing your confusion and feelings about adoption. You are very wise. I am sorry that you feel you are the one who is responsible for the happiness of both families. What a difficult thing that must be. In fact, not only is it difficult, but it is impossible. No one should expect that from you, especially yourself. The really successful families just want you to grow in love and to have happiness in your life. Wise people know that they are the only ones who can make themselves happy.
Because you are so bright, and so caring, and so intelligent, I know you will sort this out. You are important and worthy of love just for being yourself!