Dear Adoption, It Worked!
I turned 17 today and I have spent most of my life telling my [adoptive] parents that I’m okay and that I’m happy.
The confusing thing is that I am okay and I am happy most of the time just not all of the time .
Okay so my story is that I’m one of those adoptees who had a really good life and a really good mom and dad that took great care of me.
There weren’t really any bad parts of my life growing up like being abused or ignored.
All of my life my [adoptive] parents wanted to just make sure that I was okay and that I was happy.
I never wanted to hurt my mom and dad so I always said that I was okay and that I was happy.
I thought about being adopted a lot except I never said anything about that stuff to my mom and dad (and they didn’t ask me really). I was the happy, good kid that never really got into trouble or did any bad stuff.
I thought about my birth family a lot. I have a ton of questions that I really want answers to. I never shared that I was scared I might not ever meet them because I was too worried about my adoptive parents.
It worked. Everybody still believes me that I’m okay and that I’m happy because I tried my whole life to make sure that my adoptive parents knew I was grateful, okay and happy. I always felt like it was my job to protect them from my worry because everybody said they did such a good thing by adopting me.
I never could have told them the truth and I don’t know if I will.
They are really great parents but I wish they would have told me when I was little that it was okay to feel worried about my birth family and to miss them. I always wanted them to say that they would be okay even if I didn’t always feel okay and happy.
It is my 17th birthday today and in a year I’m going to get my real birth certificate. I wish I didn’t have to keep it a secret from my [adoptive] mom and dad.
They think I’m just okay and happy and that makes them okay and happy.
I protected them and it worked.